Observations about leadership in uncertain times
I had multiple coaching calls over the past few weeks, which were our first two weeks under the work-from-home mandate. Almost all of my calls gravitated toward the same sentiment, which is that we are in a challenging and unprecedented situation right now and the unknowns are piling up.
Talk about inspiration though. My partners and clients are determined to do their best and show up for other people in their company and for their teams. They are determined to navigate this complex puzzle and strategize. They are asking questions like: How do I communicate effectively? What and how much should I say to people? How should I say whatever I'm going to say?
There is a lot we can take away and share from these questions:
First, this is the reason that values-based work really matters.
This is how we know what’s most important to us, especially from a behavior standpoint. And when you've done the work on your values and understand the corresponding behaviors that bring them to life, you have a compass for approaching situations just like this. It might seem abstract at first, but keeping your values and behaviors front and center every single day will not only keep you focused, but also give you confidence in your way forward.
For example, if honesty is one of your values, think about what that actually looks like in real-time. How would you behave and communicate in a way that exemplifies honesty? What would you expect from others? What should they expect from you?
An additional practice: Write down your values (and/or your company’s values) at the start of every day and review them. Keep them close to you (e.g. on your desk, or in your pocket) and refer to them often, whether it’s for communications, updates, meetings, decisions, and much more. Doing so will help you focus on the behaviors and actions that would exemplify them.
Second, there are a number of examples/frameworks available for how to approach difficult conversations.
In Brene Brown’s book, Dare to Lead, she includes insightful examples of how to deliver in conversations especially during challenging times. She touches on emotions and taps into how people are feeling. In her book she calls this “rumbling with vulnerability,” which means being open, thoughtful, and honest in a deliberate way. Naming emotions and acknowledging feelings that people might be experiencing, while at the same time recognizing that we don’t have all of the answers and we're in this together. I’m including an example from her book at the end of this post that I have sent to a few clients. I think it is not only insightful, but also reassuring that difficult conversations in the midst of uncertainty are something that every leader will face.
Third, connect with your teams as frequently, and effectively as possible. Schedule 1:1 meetings with people to explain the situation in more detail, take questions from them in a more intimate setting, and communicate as to why specific decisions are being made and what the impact of those decisions will be. If done authentically and effectively, this will 1) level with people and 2) make them feel heard and “safe.” Two fundamental needs in times of uncertainty, and that will help foster and reinforce trust.
As a world, we are largely in uncharted territory right now, and these types of challenging conversations will happen more often. We are unfamiliar with how to show up when we’re enduring an experience that we’ve never experienced before.
Regardless of the context, however, I hope that some of the approaches included here resonate. If you live into your values, acknowledge the reality that surrounds all of this (on a factual but also an emotional level), level with your team, and create space to make them feel heard and safe, I can’t guarantee that all of the outcomes of those conversations will be optimal. But...they will probably leave you in a place of feeling like you did the right thing. And given the circumstances, what could be more human?
Excerpt from Dare to Lead by Brene Brown
“Vulnerability is disclosure. Apparently there is a misconception in some circles that I am a proponent of leaders disclosing personal experiences and openly sharing emotions in all cases. I think that notion stems from people having only a peripheral understanding of the key themes of my TEDxHouston talk on vulnerability and the book Daring Greatly, combined with the fact that 80 percent of the work I do today is about vulnerability and leadership. It’s a bad case of the 2+2=57 craziness that we see in the world today. We all know people (and we’ve all been the people) who add up a couple of things that we think we understand and come to a clear, somewhat interesting, and totally false conclusion. Let’s dispel that myth right off the bat with two seemingly conflicting statements: I am not a proponent of oversharing, indiscriminate disclosure as a leadership tool, or vulnerability for vulnerability’s sake.
There is no daring leadership without vulnerability. Both of these are true statements. I know there’s a problem when people ask me, “How much should leaders share with their colleagues or employees?” Some of the most daring leaders I know have incredible vulnerability rumbling skills and yet disclose very little. I’ve also worked with leaders who share way more than they should and demonstrate little to no rumbling skills. During a time of difficult change and uncertainty, daring leaders might sit with their teams and say,
“These changes are coming in hard and fast, and I know there’s a lot of anxiety—I’m feeling it too, and it’s hard to work through. It’s hard not to take it home, it’s hard not to worry, and it’s easy to want to look for someone to blame. I will share everything I can about the changes with you, as soon as I can. I want to spend the next forty-five minutes rumbling on how we’re all managing the changes. Specifically, What does support from me look like? What questions can I try to answer? Are there any stories you want to check out with me? And any other questions you have? I’m asking everyone to stay connected and lean into each other during this churn so we can really rumble with what’s going on. In the midst of all of this we still need to produce work that makes us proud. Let’s each write down one thing we need from this group in order to feel okay sharing and asking questions, and one thing that will get in the way.”
This is a great example of rumbling with vulnerability. The leader is naming some of the unsaid emotions and creating what we call a safe container by asking the team what they need to feel open and safe in the conversation. This is one of the easiest practices to implement, and the return on the time investment is huge in terms of trust-building and improving the quality of feedback and conversation; yet I rarely see team, project, or group leaders take that time.
What I also love about this example is how the leader is being honest about the struggle, staying calm while naming the anxiety and how it might be showing up, and giving people the opportunity to ask questions and reality-check the rumor mill. What I really appreciate about this approach is one of my favorite rumble tools: “What does support from me look like?” Not only does it offer the opportunity for clarity and set up the team for success, asking people for specific examples of what supportive behaviors look like—and what they do not look like—it also holds them accountable for asking for what they need. When you put this question into practice, expect to see people struggling to come up with examples of supportive behaviors. We’re much more accustomed to not asking for exactly what we need and then being resentful or disappointed that we didn’t get it. Also, most of us can tell you what support does not look like more easily than we can come up with what it does look like.